Wonder at the river Jabbok

(written for a wonderful assignment in my class at Columbia Theological Seminary on Job/Proverbs/Ecclesiastes...even though this text is from Genesis)

Genesis 32:22-31

To get at Jacob's wonder, possible wonder, at the river Jabbok, we have to recall much of Jacob's life.
I think that wonder filled moments,
strike us largely because of our back-stories.....

Jacob has lived a life of scheming....either as a schemer apprentice, schemed against, schemer in chief......he is now about to face his own original sin face to face.

And he is scared. He sends before him everything he owns: gifts to appease what may be an vengeful brother...
why wouldn't Jacob assume Esau would scheme against him?.....
he sends his household across the river,
he sends the very people he loves the most, and stays behind.

Jacob stays behind and is alone

WHAM! The wrestling begins as though snuck up from behind.
Not after a time of quiet contemplation,
not after a time of sizing up the opponent,
not after a grief stricken moment of seeing the backsides
of his wives and children...

He was alone, but not alone. We don't know who he wrestled with: God, river demon, self, fear, the past, the future.....but he wrestled all night long, never giving up, never giving in....daybreak arrived and the persistent opponent, seeing no victory, seeks to be released.

Jacob the schemer wants something for his trouble:
he wants a blessing and demands a blessing.

The blessing that comes is recognition of who he is,
what his life has been,
and who he will be.
This, I think, is the point, the moment,
the terrible and awesome place of Jacob's wonder.

He was/is Jacob, the heel grabber, the usurper, the life long schemer.....
He is and is to be Israel,
the one who has striven with God....
or “God strives”.

There is the wonder: God strives
with him
through him
for him
in spite of him

This blessing has always been present,
but in the seeing of it,
the naming of it,
it becomes known.

When we become known, it is~
the way we speak of being at ONE with creation,
with the universe, with God......
...it is as if we've seen the face of God....
even if its with our own ineffable being and not our physical eyes.

Fuller states that “Wonder, by helping us to feel connected with 'something more' transforms our world into a living 'thou' that invites our full participation.” (Fuller 93).

Jacob doesn't suddenly redeem his scheming ways, in fact I think he already knows that if Esau does not kill him...this reunion is but a moment and not for a lifetime.....he is already scheming his next move.....

But at Peniel he is invited into a fuller participation, he has seen God,
he has been marked by his lifelong ways,
he has been renamed....
and God has striven with him at all points along the way.



Personally, I find wonder in this
as I continually recognize my own schemes
founded in insecurity or lack of trust,

as my own denomination enters the collective frey
of determining
if we will be a Jesus and justice centered welcoming people
or biblically faithful and accountable people.....(it seems those to wondrous things are incompatible)...

in all our corporate scheming God will strive
with us,
for us,
through us,
in spite of us.

And there is the wonder that I find beside the river Jabok.