Oh Rosie and vitriolic diatribes

Now, I must first state that I do not watch TV on a regular basis. I find little there worth consuming my time. But yesterday, as I was on the internet, scanning the through some youtube videos on Jon Stewart from Comedy Centrals The Daily Show (which is the best show on Television), I came across a clip from this week's fracas between Rosie O'Donnell and Elizabeth Hasselbeck from the View.

During an episode this week, Rosie called Elizabeth on the carpet for not stepping up as a friend, when Rosie was needing to clarify her wording that insinuated that she thought the troops were terrorists. There was implication in her words, but her intent was to point the finger to President Bush and not the troops. During this particular episode of The View, Elizabeth put it back to Rosie that Rosie alone is responsible for clarifying her innuendos and thoughts.

It turned into a public fight, split screen to see both, with Rosie seemingly in control. And why wouldn't she have been? She knew that she was going to put Elizabeth on the defensive. Elizabeth was on the defensive.

I bring this up, solely because our culture and society have mistaken vitriolic/Springer-esque verbal attacks for public discourse. It is not a good or growing thing to watch two adults go after one another, no one listening, both talking over the other, both having valid points to make.

In this case, Rosie thought the whole thing was about a friend not sticking up for a friend. For Elizabeth, it seemed to be that she wanted to push Rosie on being an adult and taking consequences for her words.

It became about politics and mud slinging and no one heard the real issues. Elizabeth should simply say why she chose not to defend Rosie (which could be for any number of reasons), and Rosie needs to come to terms with the fact that if she digs a verbal hole, she must get herself out of it.

I yearn for adult discourse, where we can express hurt feelings without everyone going on the defensive. When we can open a can of worms and then hear what our friend has to say to us. Where we live to grow and learn and develop......which means listening and hearing.

There have been many times when I've given in to this type of tirade, sure of the rightness of my position. It is ugly, and it feels ugly, and then we have to go an clean up the relational mess.

Really, there are better ways.

Rosie and Elizabeth, get a mediator who will help you paraphrase, listen & hear one another.

As for the rest of us? Let's step up to the adult plate and be adults.

asgr