Doctoral Project

The doctoral project is different than a PhD dissertation. Where a PhD dissertation can be up to 500 pages, this is ONLY 35 pages. It is an article that has original research and ideas that is worthy of publication. The combined practicum and project are the core capstones of the program. the DMin is a practical degree, not a research degree at the PhD level. But, the work we produce is equal to that of the PhD.

Having said this, I need to find a focus.

1) I have thought for years that I would love to study the spiritual formation that a seminary student undergoes...some with joy and others with bitterness.......but this is quite broad.

2) Church of the Brethren spirituality within our rituals of Love Feast and Service

3) Spiritual Formation within the history and current life of the Bethany Church of the Brethren

4) Individual practices of spiritual formation and the affect of that practice on the greater community of faith

The courses that I will want to take and the focus on my practicum need to be able to be tied to the final project.....for my own sense of research. Any others out there?

Doctoral Practicum

Well, one of the things I get to do is a 400plus hour practicum. This can be in my current ministry setting......student development @bethany........or in my congregation. Hmmmm, lets think about some ideas:

1) a small group of students from each year (junior, middler, senior) to explore their spiritual formation during their seminary careers thus far, with the planning and leading of an overnight retreat involving silence, direction, worship and discussion for first year students (this one would have to be done with explicit support and permission by our ministry formation professor as it overlaps with that program...probably faculty approval as well)

2) a small group series with my congregation of spiritual formation practices, ending in a retreat i.e. the one in #1

3) overnight retreats for various faith communities in the CoB i.e. rural, city, large, small.....

4) ????????


Any suggestions? The requirements are that within 400 hours, I plan, lead and reflect on spiritual formation events/series/sermons/ etc........

This Mother's Lament

This is a personal lament that I wrote in response to a lecture and discussion on the Psalms.

O God, Source of life, creator of every living thing, determiner of that which has breath.

How long must we wait?

By day, my son writhes in pain,
gut clutched by little hands that should be drawing pictures or building cities with blocks.

Caught by rhythmic and cyclical mystery that causes him to moan, and for me to murmur reassurances that are false, echoing through a tunnel of hollow hope.

My hands lay upon his skin, providing both of us with the comfort of the other.

By night, I lay beside him, tears streaming down my face as he fitfully sleeps.

I stretch out my hand to you and cry “Heal him. I know that you can. I know who you are. Why are you not listening and acting? What have I done to block your hearing? I preach your word, I live a life of gospel simplicity, I set aside family time when neighbors knock on the door asking for bread. It is my turn, I ask for the bread of wholeness and you have given me a stone of indifference. How long O God?”

But my cries lift with faith, only to dissipate like steam, unfelt by you.

O God, Source of life and all that breathes, I must turn to lesser gods of white coat and stethoscope. They placate me with words like “could be this”, “isn’t that”, “flu, IBS, imagination.”

But they are not around to see my son, my firstborn in anguish.

I know his imaginary pains that are given life to garner my attention.

I know the pains that diminish when a friendly face appears or ice cream is brought out. And these are not those.

Will this end in health or death? How long until we know?

O that it would be better that you were not in existence, for then my hopes and faith would not be beaten to a pulp each and every day.

But you do exist, and I do believe. So I raise my petition, my yearning, my soul to you. Please heal my son. Heal my son. Do not be far from us. Let him not lose faith in you. Let not my faith shrivel and my vocation become meaningless.

Within me, praise struggles to rise, but it is held back and I cannot let it go. It flutters inside and beside and all around, but cannot fly to full glory. It is tethered to me, waiting for you to prove yourself.

(August 1996, during a 9 month period where Turner had recurring abdominal cramps that came and went in two week cycles. The doctors speculated that it was the flu, that it was Irritable Bowel Syndrome, that he was making it up. On October 25, 1996, while doing the second shunt revision of the year, they swabbed the tubing at his belly, to find his peritoneum full of staph infection, having traveled upwards to his brain. Turner was in ICU for 16 days, as they administered antibiotics from an external shunt directly into his brain. We watched his cerebral spinal fluid fill bag after bag, because his body did not reabsorb it. Turner was 5 nearly 6, lying in a hospital bed, unable to move for the need to keep that bag perfectly aligned with his head….too high and his cerebral spinal fluid would not drain out, too low and it could drain too quickly. He went home on the 17^th day, with no more cramps. All along, God had been faithful. We knew it had been the shunt. But we listened to the empty reassurances of the gods of medicine over the heartbeat of the One True God.)

Starting the DMin (Doctor of Ministry)

Most of the blog posts from here on out will be about this DMin process and its impact upon my own spiritual development.......changes are a brewin..........

The day arrived to pack my bags and drive to Decatur Georgia for my doctoral work. We have a group of 12 pastoral leaders (some congregational ministers, some administrators) who are hear because we want to be. We've had a couple of days of introductory sessions, but are shifting gears toward the academic thinking that goes into this program.

My mates in this venture are from many denominational backgrounds: Presbyterian, Methodist, Anglican, Quaker and Church of the Brethren (me). But all have a deep love for those with whom we minister, and a desire to further their spiritual formation.

And that is what this is all about: Group Spiritual Formation. What is that? Well, maybe I'll let you know next week. Really. What I know now is that it is about how we move together in our lives of faith, growing, deepening, and being shaped. Spirituality is under the clear canopy of Christianity. Not much room for New Age, or eastern practices here. Spirituality in this context is specific to Christ's Church and those who follow his teachings.

I'm here from November 5-17....missing my family (I just now took 15 minutes to call and hear their voices: Kurt, Turner and Bennett....my heart's desires)....but really really glad to be taking this time just for me. Selfish I know......but so worth it.

Nothing pithy or deep to add.

asgr